The Anxious Generation

“Because of our phones, we are forever elsewhere.” – Sherry Turkle

This is what the renowned sociologist Sherry Turkle lamented, highlighting how phones have diminished presence, empathy, and meaningful face-to-face conversations.

How does this resonate with you? This trend is almost ubiquitous today—at dining tables, on public transportation, in offices, and beyond. It has led to an unprecedented rise in mental health and social issues. The longer our screen time, the more susceptible we become to anxiety and depression.

In his book The Anxious Generation, Dr. Jonathan Haidt focuses his research and argument on Gen Z. The negative consequences of prolonged screen time appear to be more serious for teens and adolescents. This does not mean, however, that smartphones and social media are harmless for adults when overused. As we guide younger generations through this challenge, we adults must be fully aware of both the promises and perils of these technologies—and set ourselves up as role models.

We are not demonizing smartphones and social media wholesale. Their impact depends on how we use them—with discernment and purpose. However, due to their addictive nature, we must always use them with caution and discipline.

I have narrowed this down to two main points for discussion.

1. Irony of Connectivity

It’s paradoxical: today we are hyper-connected through the internet, social media, and smartphones, yet at the same time, people feel more disconnected than ever.

What is the price of smartphones? It is disconnection and its accompanying consequences—depression, insecurity, and anxiety. Haidt writes, “An important feature of depression for this book is its link to social relationships. People are more likely to become depressed when they become (or feel) more socially disconnected, and depression then makes people less interested and able to seek out social connection. As with anxiety, there is a vicious circle.”

In the midst of our busy lives, how can meaningful connection be possible? Start small. At home, find ways to connect with your children and spouse.

I asked ChatGPT: “Ways to create connection with children and spouse at home?” It replied:

1. Follow their world (not just yours)

Get curious about what they care about—even if it’s games, cartoons, or random facts. Let them lead sometimes.

2. “Special time” (even 10–15 minutes)

Undivided attention, no phone, no multitasking.

3. Play more, instruct less

4. Validate feelings before fixing

Honestly, these are great suggestions. Now machines are teaching humans how to connect with one another—LOL!

Beyond the family, there are countless ways to build meaningful connections. Find a small community around you. Get help and be a help to others. Research shows that those who help others tend to live healthier and longer lives.

2. Irony of Focus

Last February, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg was questioned in court about whether his company intentionally designed Instagram to be addictive. Whether intentional or not, it is clearly addictive—for both young and old.

Here lies another irony: smartphones and social media capture our attention intensely, yet at the same time weaken our ability to focus on study, relationships, and meaningful tasks.

Haidt notes that while older generations may not show the same rise in clinical disorders, many have become more frazzled, scattered, and exhausted due to constant interruptions and distractions.

Today, with TikTok and Shorts, our attention spans have shortened. We have become more restless and impatient with silence, boredom, or slowness—yet these are precisely the conditions from which creativity, productivity, and deeper reflection often emerge.

One day, I watched Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, talk about breathing. Breathing? Isn’t that like teaching a fish how to swim? I was puzzled—until I realized it was about focus through practices like diaphragmatic (belly) breathing.

Our minds today are so restless that they cannot remain attentive even to something as simple as breathing. Within seconds, they wander. This practice teaches us to bring our attention back—again and again—to the present moment and therefore to increase attention span.

How is your attention span?

Can you finish reading a book?

Can you complete a task in silence without checking your phone?

How long can you talk with a friend face-to-face without distraction?