Dipping Your Toe into the Waters of Becoming

Γνῶθι σεαυτόν.

"Knowing yourself" is, indeed, foundational for mental health, social interactions, personal growth, identity, and more. We can’t overemphasize the importance of self-awareness in our life journey and career. That’s why the very first book for our club focuses on self-awareness.

It’s not easy to neatly summarize the entire book, as it consists of diverse articles written by authors and experts from different fields. Furthermore, the topic of self-awareness itself can be quite elusive and complex. In fact, our human consciousness alone is a vast topic. In philosophy, it’s referred to as the “hard problem.”

Despite any oversimplification, I would like to sum up the book with two ironies.

1. The Irony of Selfhood

Basically, it’s about knowing ourselves—our individuality—but ironically, it involves others profoundly—our family, friends, mentors, colleagues, and their feedback, evaluations, and constructive criticism. Even our gadgets and apps can help us be aware of how we sleep, exercise, breathe, etc.

Just as a mirror in the house reflects our appearance, people around us can offer us feedback. In other words, on this journey of self-discovery, we need others along the way.

The book insightfully teaches us how to solicit, interpret, and apply others’ feedback, influence, and coaching. In hindsight, I must admit that who I am today owes so much to my most straightforward—sometimes even brutal—critic on this journey: my wife!

After reading the book, I’m even more convinced that I must be open-minded and welcome feedback from coworkers, friends, and family members. That’s the best way for me to keep growing and learning.

How about you? Who’s your most valuable critic? No pain, no gain!

2. The Irony of Being and Becoming

The book explores the idea of knowing who we are—our being—but also who we are becoming. We need to understand where we come from, who we are now, and who we can or ought to become. It’s a continuous, dialogical process of being and becoming.

Have you ever met someone who demonstrates character flaws, weaknesses, or a bad temperament, yet is completely unwilling to change or grow? They seem to act as if they have a license to display inappropriate attitudes or behaviors. You probably know someone like that—in your family, classroom, office, your circle of friends, or in the mirror.

We are all capable to grow and become better versions of ourselves. Of course, we hope others will be gracious and accepting toward us, just as we try to be toward them. But there is a higher calling: we must actively strive to become our better selves—pursuing personal growth.

I’d like to quote Norman Mailer’s statement from Chapter Eleven, “Shakespeare’s Characters Show Us How Personal Growth Should Happen.”

“There is a cruel but just law of life that says we must change or pay an increasing cost for remaining the same.”

We need to change for the better and never stop learning and growing. Especially in this ever-changing world, we must also adapt, grow, and thrive. Heraclitus once said, “You cannot step into the same river twice.” I would add, “We are not the same person each time we step into the river, either.”

Growth can be painstaking. Becoming a better version of yourself can be challenging—but I’m sure it will be rewarding. Through your own efforts, you are already becoming someone better and stronger.

Don’t be afraid to dip your toe into the waters of becoming.